


In A Heartbeat

by Pantato



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Anxiety, Attempt at Humor, But its not the safest for work either-, Depression, Everyone is kinda gay, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Holy crap that's a lot of tags, I almost forgot to add fluff-, I know most of yall came for the summary alone-, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Monika needs to chill, Natsuki be tha sleepy gurl, Past Child Abuse, Sayori needs a hug, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Thats better-, The more tags, Yuri a tad possessive-, its not nsfw, reality?, the more hits ;)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2020-09-23 11:36:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20339479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pantato/pseuds/Pantato
Summary: Ah the literature club. A place where fantasy and fun, come to lif-Wait, nope I'mma try again-A h e mAh the literature club. A place to relax. A place to v i b e- And of course, a place to read!Led by the amazing Club president, Monika, and Vice president Sayori. It is truly a place where nothing could go wr- PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF- Bish you t h o u g h t -





	1. No coffee,no problem-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monika tries to spend a entire school day without coffee- .....NOT HARD A T A L L-

Sleep.Thats all the club president wanted. Sleep. Was that too much to ask? Staying up all night studying, c o u l d make a person want that. Finally she got what she wanted. Nice, peaceful, beautiful, slee-

**_Beep.Beep.Beep.Bee-_**_Click._ Or not..... The president groggily turned off her alarm, preparing for the day. _6:30.' Two hours... I got **two **__hours of sleep.'_ Monika was right. She indeed had only gotten two 'long' hours of sleep. She was going to have to survive an entire day of school, with only _two _hours of sleep. That was...... durable. If you were Sayori-.Heck even thinking of the bubbly vice president made her better. This is fine...... Yeah.... this is fine . A nice cup of coffee and a light jog to school could help her stay up, until she got home at least. It was all going to be ok. With her new found enthusiasm, she leaped out of bed.

Then quickly learned that was a bad idea as she fell face first on the floor. Yep everything is going to be ok- . She groaned in pain as she tried to stand up. It wasn't easy but with the power of.....(God and anime-) something she did it. Monika quickly got her ass off the floor and headed towards her closet to change. Monika always liked wearing loose pajamas, one they were really comfy and two...it was one of the only things that her parents couldn't judge her for..but that not important right now. What is important is getting ready for school.

After getting changed Monika realized if she wanted to be early for school, (which she always is.) then she wouldn't have time for coffee.**_That's fine,who needs coffee anyway. _**She did. Monika needed coffee. BUT THIS IS FINE. Coffee was a small price to pay, if she wanted her reputation to be in line. She quickly headed out the door, going to school.(Where else would she go? The coffee shop-? BAHAHA.THAT'S _**FUNNY-**_)

As she approached the school entrance, she saw a couple of other students. Only a few tho. Probably more teachers pets, trying to keep their 'good name' in check. Was it fair to call Monika a 'teachers pet'? Yes. Yes it was. It's not like Monika didn't know that already tho.There were probably some students who call her that (and worse) behind her back. But they're the ones that are gonna work in a gas station when they get older. At least, that's what her parents said.

She entered the school, and when she walked down the halls she saw students quickly shuffle out her way . Or _try_ to muster up the courage to say 'Hi Monika', or ' Good morning '.BUT THEY FAILED LIKE A BUNCH OF _NNNNEEERRRDDDSS_.......too far....ok. In all honesty Monika _tried_ to be approachable, she really did. But it was difficult when the people she was trying to talk to, were too busy absorbed in the fact that Monika Yamamoto was actually _talking _to them, to listen to what she was saying. Or they tried to hit on her........................BUT THAT'S A STORY FOR ANOTHER TIME,BOYS AND GALS. (AND NON-BINARY PALS.)

She finally reached her first classroom. Her first _empty _classroom. This was normal since Monika always arrived early, (like really early) the teacher wouldn't be here. At first he would arrive at the classroom before she did, but after learning of her habit (also not to mention her personality), he trusted her to watch it while he wasn't there.(Where he goes in the morning...nobody knows. Also don't ask how he hasn't gotten fired yet-) It usually would take around 25 minutes for him to get here. But since Monika arrived later than she wanted to, it'll probably be like 15 minutes. Now you probably think that, NOW would be the time to get some sleep. I mean the teacher wouldn't mind if she took a little tiny nap (considering her reputation) right? That would probably be the case.....but Monika couldn't take that chance. Monika was going to be a good little girl and, put her homework on the teacher's desk, and sit. So that's what she did. She was tired and desperately needed some coffee....but that would have to wait. She was going to be a good little girl and learn......what was it....OH YEAH. Psychics..wow, must really be tired not to be able to remember what her first class is.

Finally after what seemed like forever, Mr.Ito arrived with a couple more students. Even Natsuki was here for once. Maybe Yuri woke her up on the bus...or she walked. At least Monika knew that she, or Yuri weren't going to have to track down the bus to retrieve Natsuki.(You wouldn't believe how many times that happened.)Natsuki sat down next to her club president.(It was Monika's idea for Natsuki to sit next to her...to keep her awake.)

"Wut up prez." The pink haired girl said as she sat down.Y'know out of all her clubmates(Which isn't a lot, I guess -), nobody called her by her actual name.(Unless it was something important.That or Natsuki wanted to snap at Monika for teasing her and Yuri.) Sayori calls her 'Moni'. Which makes sense, since they've been best friends since they were kids. Even Monika gave her the nickname 'Ori '..or 'Orio'( HA- WORD PLAY-) if she was feeling super affectionate. Natsuki gave her 'Prez ' and Yuri gave her 'Monu'...weird nickname but...Monika liked it. If she was honest she sorta felt _uncomfortable, _when someone used her real name. So it was nice that they all gave her a nickname. Even if they didn't know about that.(If they did, Sayori probably told them.)

"Hey Nat." The club president finally responded . Natsuki as always looked sorta tired....but she's defiantly looks a lot better since she started living with Yuri. Monika was glad. Seeing Natsuki doing better made Monika's morning _a little _better.(She was feeling like a zombie tho.)The class probably wouldn't start until like...10 minutes,so that's a good amount of time to talk. Monika liked doing...little check ups on her club mates before class started. She had a least two classes with each of them(Even tho she doesn't see Sayori till lunch.). And from what Monika could tell, Natsuki was doing really well.

But Natsuki's face of tired well being, turned into concern as she analyzed her club president(Yep, you heard that right. Natsuki showing concern. Shocking.). "Um....prez...You okay there dude? You look tired. " Natsuki turned away after saying that. She didn't want Monika to think that she cared _that _much. Meanwhile, Monika forgot how her club mates knew of her 'staying up all night to study' habit. Monika knew that she couldn't lie, but she couldn't tell Natsuki what happened last night. "I...um...it's fine." Monika cracked a tired smile. Natsuki looked like she wanted to press Monika, but quickly decided against it. "Aight, I won't press ya. Can't say the same for Sayori tho. Hehehe." 

Natsuki chuckled under her breath, which in this situation was probably the right thing to do-. Monika didn't take account for Sayori's reaction, to seeing her get only two hours of sleep. Knowing Sayori, she would probably make a big deal out of it. Scratch that-. She would make a _<strike></strike>**Huge**_ deal of it. 

Monika mentality sighed, as she stopped herself from banging her bloody head on the table. She didn't have the energy deal with Sayori's inevitable 'mom' moment. Sure they were friends for a _really _long time, but sometimes it feels like Sayori is taking better care of Monika than herself. If she's lucky, Sayori wouldn't call one of her ' surprise check up sleepovers '. It's not that Monika doesn't enjoy them, she really does. But the thing is that her parents haven't come home to check on her in a while. And since they have a tendency to not tell Monika when they're coming (Unless they're like, 5 minutes away-). And if they did come home tonight, and Sayori was there....Well she didn't want to think about it. You see, Monika's parents didn't know who her friends were- (Yeah gr8 parents, I know ) Heck, they didn't even know about the literature club. The reason they think that Monika arrived late after school, was because she stayed to 'study'......All tho, they don't come home early enough(when they do come home) to see her come late.

Monika had to think of how on earth she was going to look 'not tired',within the span of 2 hours-....And she was going to do that....after class which was starting.....right now-.

Ah. Her first set of classes were finally over. Now it was time for lunch. Usually Monika would be grateful that lunch had arrived, which meant that she could see Sayori....But now was not one of those times. Now was the time for panic-. True, Monika had woken up a little through out the day and, she looked better too. But this was Sayori we're talking about.... Even if Monika had a tiny winy bag under her eye, Sayori would go into ' I got to protect my wifu at all cost mode-'...... What. It's true-. Oh _c'mon._ Don't act like you don't know that they have major crushes on each other. Like they take 'girls being mad flirty with girls cuz they girls, and that's what girls do apparently.I mean,I wouldn't know. Not because I'm a guy(And I'm not-). But because I be like a super pan and I flirt with girls all the time , so I don't know if that's a thing that straight girls do (...Wait I just looked it up...Straight girls do it too apparently...Huh-)' To the max. Like seriously, Natsuki and Yuri were surprised that they weren't a couple when they joined the club. Also.. you're literally reading a Sayori x Monika fic- You k n o w that they have a crush on each other- ( Welp, there goes the fourth wall I guess-)

Monika had to think of something....and fast. Maybe she could eat lunch by herself....No...That wouldn't work...She has a class with Sayori right after lunch..And it's not like she could skip class-. She had two options....One: Man up and expect that nothing may even happen, and she's over thinking it like usual. Or Two:Hide in a hole forever....Actually...

Two don't sound so bad-.

But even tho two sounded like a really good idea...She picked one anyway. Monika sighed as she went outside, bento box in hand.

The group always ate outside. It was nice and peaceful, plus not a lot of students were out there.(Mostly thanks to Monika. In all honesty, most students just want to stay out of her way-). Not to mention that it helps her relax. And right now.....She _really _needs it. Monika headed to the usual stop, underneath the big cherry blossom tree.

As Monika stepped towards the tree, her eyes caught the sight of some petals becoming free of the branches and dancing their way to the ground in a beautifully arranged spectrum-....Too descriptive....-SiGh-..Okay.

As Monika stepped towards the tree, she watched some petals fall off the branches, making their way to the grass below.(Is that better-). Unsurprisingly, she was the first one to arrive. Knowing her friends, Sayori would probably be here second(never being late for food-). And Natsuki and Yuri would be third(Yuri usually carrying the younger girl). I mean...lunch only lasted for 15 minutes, so it doesn't take them long to get here. But that left Monika a little time to just be by herself and think...But maybe when she was still a little stressed, thinking when she was by herself, in a area that she could think deeply in isn't the _greatest _idea. So she sat underneath the tree and waited.

And waited....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well you have successfully read this chapter -  
Why?  
They're all going to suffer....  
But you want that...don't you?  
That's the whole reason you're here, right?  
To watch them squirm, and claw, hoping to find the light at the end of the dark tunnel....  
All I can say is.....I hope you know that your actions, have consequences....


	2. Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's...It's her fault, y'know.

There was a problem...There was _obviously _a problem. And Sayori knew what that problem was. Depression. Heh, it was kinda funny-. People always seen her as ' happy', and ' bubbly' 24/7. Everyone, except her parents that is. Her parents, knew about her problem. Sure...They weren't the 'best', at helping, but they tried. Well...They used too...They _used _to be there, when Sayori hit her low points. They _used _to be the pillow that she could cry on, the one's that would tell her that ' Everything is going to be okay', and ' We love you'. They _used _to help keep Sayori sane, and stop her from trying anything stupid.

But...They aren't here anymore. And they won't _ever,_come back.

It's her fault. It's _her _fault, that they had to go out. It's _her _fault, for being a selfish brat. It's **_her _**fault.

If she wasn't a little brat, they wouldn't have left. If she wasn't stupid, they wouldn't of had to worry about their little girl, doing something incredibly stupid. She shouldn't have made them worry, she should've kept it a secret. But NNNOOOOO-, she _had _to tell them. She just _h a D, _to have someone to say that they care about her. CUz she's too damn _**broken **_, to able to care about her FUCKING self.

She blamed it aallll, on her depression. It wasn't true. She was just lazy. Pathetic, and lazy.

Alone.

Pathetic, lazy, and alone.

No one else would take care of her. Why would they? She can't even get out of her damn bed. She's supposed to be in school, but she isn't.

She's in bed, awake...cold...and alone.

She SHOULD, be brushing her teeth, getting breakfast, and rushing out the door to school.

But she isn't.

She's SUPPOSED, to be happy.

But she can't be.

She's SUPPOSED, to have someone, anyone that cares about her.

But she doesn't.

All she has, is her thoughts, her tears, and her bed.

And. ....

That's all she deserves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you sure about this?  
Is THIS really what you want?  
All you're doing is going deeper into the rabbit hole....  
But I have to admit, your determination is....admirable to say the least....  
Very well. I'll let you continue....  
But remember, all actions have consequences....Even the good actions...  
Not that what you're doing is very ' good '...


	3. It's mah b-day-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was born on this day.....Y a Y-

Aight, time to work on this chapter- Calendar: * November 19th* ..... Oh-...It's my birthday today-... .-_.- ....

🎉-

* What's this?, Fredfaz is evolving!* .........* Fredfaz, has evolved into....Moody teenager!-*

.-_-. Wuts dis - A snippet of the next chapter- * Le GASP-* ( The following snippet is a WIP ( Work in progress.))

* * *

Monika walked down the hallway. Was she concerned? No-. Why would she bE. The only problem, is that her BEST friend, hadn't shown up to school yet-.

Also, not to mention the fact, that, that SAME _best friend_, hadn't responded to any of her texts, or calls -.

Was that a reason to be concerned?

Yes. Yes it was. And even tho that ,Monika was trying her best to hide it,(Key word being ' trying'-)she was concerned as fuck-. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's mah b-day-  
oOf.  
I'm 14 now...Yay?-  
Don't worry-  
The next chapter is almost done-  
Just...Gotta type it all down-  
Oo F-


	4. I don't even know-

I was sleeping peacefully in my bed, when I heard a scrapping sound-

Faz:" Da hell -"

??: " GREETINGS FAZ"

Faz:"....Who Tf-"

??: "Who I am doesn't matter- What DOES matter is the fact that you're _SLEEPING, _instead of working on the new chapter-"

Faz:" I'm SICK DAMNIT-"

??: " ExCuSeS-"

Faz: " Plus, no one actually CARES about this story- I can take a break-"

??: " Well, you've been ' breaking ', FOR FAR TOO LONG, MISSY-"

Faz: " actually I'm non-binary-"

??: "SH U S H! Now, get your lazy ass up, AND GET TO WORK!"

Faz: "But-"

??: 🔥__🔥

Faz: .-_.-; " FinE-"

I got to work on the chapter...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so basically made this ' chapter', to sorta explain why the next actual chapter is taking so long-  
It's because i got sick, and didn't feel like working on the chapter-  
But now that I'm feeling better, it's back to spending hours of working on the chapter, and pray that it isn't trash :'D


	5. Now, you might wanna panic-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monika, we all love her( Rule 34 artists definitely do-). She's the best, even under terrible situations...Okay, that was a lie.. She's terrible under bad situations. But, I mean , nothing b a d could happen...Oop, and Sayori's gone-.

Monika sat underneath the tree ( that I am not aloud to describe in too much detail-) waiting for her friends, and Yuri too I guess-. ( Don't worry, I'm joking-.. A lil-) She sighed quietly to herself...Y'know, this view would be great for a poem. 

The calm setting, the beautiful view. Yeah, she was defiantly going to have to write a poem. She could start writing it down while she waited for her _friends_......_friends......_?..

She could start writing it down while she waited for her friends. (And Yuri too I guess -) She pulled out a pen and her notebook, as she got to work.

After a couple of minutes, Yuri and Natsuki showed up....But Sayori noticeably absent-...Monika was confused... "Hey Prez" Natsuki said as she waved, and was quick to sit down next to her club president. Yuri just waved and sat down next to Natsuki....And of course, the small girl scooted away from her a lil-. " H-hey guys...Have you seen Sayori? " Both girls looked at her in concern, and shook their head no. Yuri was quick to notice Monika's face, which was full of concern... "U-um, she's probably fine..." Monika didn't look too convinced about that..Luckily Natsuki was quick to step into the conversation. " Yeah, " She said as she wrapped her arm around Monika. "knowing Sayori she's probably <strike>dead</strike> still in bed." 

Natsuki had a fair point. The lil Cinnabun probably was still in bed...Monika imagined her friend sound asleep, without a care in the world. ( Was thinking about her friend sleeping in bed a bit creepy? Yes, yes it was-) She smiled a little, and Natsuki gave her a slight smirk. "Why do you ask dear president? Wanna make sure that your _wifau _is safe~" The small girl said. " U-um. You- That's-" Monika tried to think of a come back...but couldn't -. That only made Natsuki's smirk wider. Hell, even _Yuri _smirked a tad bit. Monika stuck her tongue out at the two, but that didn't stop her from smiling.

The group minus a member, finally ate lunch, Monika occasionally texted ( *Cough* Morelikespamed *C O U G H) Sayori. Just in case her texts (*COUGH* More like ' her spamming ' *C O U G H*) were able to wake Sayori up. If she was asleep that is. I mean, she _has _to be asleep. _'Why else would she miss school?'_ Right..... Monika couldn't think that much about it, as lunch ended. The group dispersed and they went indoors, going to their respective classes.

Finally. School was over..._Almost._ For everyone that had a actual life, school was over. But for those that were in a club, or was a member of school staff (orwasindetention-) school was not over-. Speaking of club's, Monika was heading for hers right now. 

Now we all know Monika right? Confident, smart, strong willed. Y'know _<strike>totally out of your league.</strike>_

Y'know, someone that you can rely on. Someone that you can trust to handle a stressful situation with ease.....Monika was not that. Sure, when she was handling a tough situation, she _looked _calm. But on the inside; she wanted to freaking die. Now you may be wondering, why I brought this up. Well, Monika was in a tad bit of a pickle. She couldn't stop thinking about Sayori - (And not in a weird way -) Sure the lil ball of sunshine was off these last couple days, but she still could've told the gang that she wasn't going to be able to come to school....Not to mention that Monika's ( _spamming_) texts shouldve woke her up. Again if she _was _asleep that is. It just didn't make sense, and things that don't make sense tended to scare Monika a lil. And as much as Monika wanted to call off today's meeting and go to Sayori's to make sure that everything was oki doki, she couldn't. The festival is in a couple of days,and she wanted to use every meeting she could to help prepare. She was just going to have to break in to Sayori's house later.

She arrived at the club room, unsurprisingly being the last one there. Natsuki was in the closet, and Yuri was also in the closet. Wait- Why is she- ' Better not question it' Monika thought to herself, as she went to the teachers desk. She would drag them out the closet a lil later, right now she could get some paper shit done....

_" Whatcha doin? "_

_Monika_ _looked_ _up_ _from_ _her desk_, _only to see a cute lil Cinnabun._

"_Oh_ um, _just some paper stuff..hehe-"_

_To anyone else, that response would've sounded completely boring, and they would walked away. But not Sayori, who was always happy to help anyone. Eespecially Monika._

" "

Her response didn't surprise Monika in the slightest. 

" Of course! I'll always accept the help of my favorite vice-president~"

Sayori didn't need to be told twice, she pulled a chair next to Monika and sat down.

But since Sayori i s Sayori, they ended up goofing off instead of working.

Like they were supposed to- It was fun tho..

But now she's alone, well not r e a l l y. She still had Natsuki and Yuri..but it wasn't the same. Was she a bad friend for thinking that? Probably.

Now she r e a l l y didn't wanna do paper shit- I guess now's the time to take a nap..And that she did.

When she woke up, she stretched and went to the closet..Huh, they were gone- They probably didn't want to disturb Monika. Plus, it wasn't their j o b to wake her up-

Anyway, she should probably go home.

Scratch that, she should check on Sayori, t h e n go home- So off she went, leaving the school. Little did she know, that she wasn't going to come back for a very l o n g time.

This is it, the thing she's been waiting to do all day. She knocked on the door; " Sayori! It's Monika, I'm coming in." She said loudly, as she opened the front door. She didn't hear, or see Sayori downstairs..

That's f i n e tho- At least, that's what she told herself- That didn't help the feeling in her gut go away tho.

She climbed up the stairs, finally making it to Sayori's room. She knocked before saying: " Sayori I'm respecting your privacy as a friend, but as your club president I'm asserting my dominance by coming in anyway-" 

And with that, she gently opened the door-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're STILL reading....  
Don't you see what you're doing?  
It's not too late..  
You can stop. You don't have to continue..  
Please, for their sake..

**Author's Note:**

> Oh look, you actually read my shit-  
Thanks I guess-


End file.
